Wow! What a big buzz and conversation about “natural birth” going on at the minute.
I watched a debate on “This Morning” the other day, titled “Are women pressured not to use pain relief” which seemed to be based around the recent Instagram post by football coach Harry Kane. In his post, he gushed about how proud he was of his fiancée, Katie Goodland, for having an amazing waterbirth without using any pain relief (I’ll not point out to him that using a birth pool is a form of pain relief, bless him), finishing his post with the hashtag hypnobirthing. (Again, technically this can also be considered a form of pain relief).
Anyway, they had two women on, discussing either side of the argument. Both are mums and one is also a hypnobirthing expert. The discussion got waaaaay too heated and got to the point that the presenter had to halt the discussion as both women were talking at the same time and you couldn’t tell what was being said.
Our hypnobirthing expert kept trying to point out that it should never be the case that all women are expected to birth without medicinal pain relief, but it was about choice and what works for each woman. She also tried to reinforce the message about how important it is for women to properly prepare for childbirth by educating themselves on what to expect and what their options are (sound familiar?). However, our other lady kept repeating about how it doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as you get the baby out…………..
I agree with the first part of this statement, it doesn’t matter how you give birth. However, it’s just as important that the mum comes through the process in one piece, just as much as the baby. If mum has gone through a traumatic birth where she felt utterly powerless and vulnerable, then she will not be in a great state of mind to begin looking after her newborn baby.
What is important, is that we start having supportive conversations about pregnancy and birth and stop competing with each other. Over the last few years of being a birth worker, I’ve noticed that it seems to be the two complete opposite ends of the spectrum. When a woman announces to family and friends that she is pregnant, they seem to get one of two types of stories.
The first are the horror stories. The mums who have done it already and seem to revel in the gory details with the winner seeming to be the one who had the most stitches.
The other stories are the super birthers. The mums who managed to achieve an almost perfect zen like birth, making it feel like a benchmark for women to achieve with their own births.
Both of these are genuine types of experiences for women. We need to stop criticising each other for having a different birth experience to other women. What is important, is that women feel supported, encouraged and in control and can aim for the type of birth they want to experience. And if, for some reason, that type of birth isn’t able to happen, then women need to know how to cope with that and be able to continue feeling in control of the situation.
So instead of traumatising or pressuring women when they announce their pregnancy. Perhaps we should be congratulating and supporting their plans. Signposting to information we found useful or helpful. If somebody wants to birth with every drug under the sun, that’s for them to decide. If somebody wants to birth using only gas and air, that’s for them to decide. If somebody wants to only use hypnobirthing to cope during labour, that’s for them to decide. If somebody wants to birth in a stream with only a local badger to act as midwife, that’s for them to decide! Are you getting my point yet?
Birth is about choice. It’s a personal choice for each woman and so telling somebody how to do it based on your own experiences is just not going to help.
What will help, is making sure the pregnant woman knows how important it is to educate herself on her options.
Knowledge is power people!
C x
Doula la 